Postcards from My Soul

The grasshopper, with the orange back legs, seems to have more purpose than I. Why he chooses to walk instead of hop is a mystery I can’t unravel.  Maybe the sun knows? What does he seek, this grasshopper who’s face is also orange? I’ll never know this either.  Am I watching myself from above seeing I have no direction? No purpose, other than going from one small pleasure to the next? Other than looking for a relationship that feels good for a while? What kind of life is that? Entering into relationships with the full expectation and knowledge that they will dwindle and fail. The trees enter into relationships for mutual benefit, how long do those connections last? I look back up from writing and the grasshopper is gone.  Did he hop or walk? 

 Happy New year! I realize it’s the last day of May, but the last 6 months have been a real crazy blurry rollercoaster.  Recap: I bought the adjoining property to mine. After a sureal scramble of begging, borrowing and almost stealing to close the deal on time.  Followed by a nerve racking refi. If you want to know how someone without a job and almost no income secures a loan, I’ll happily tell you.  A giant thank you to the bestie who trusted me with thousands of dollars until I could refi! Then what was going to be a couple coats of paint and a few weeks to get the 1980 manufactured home (yes, it’s a double wide trailer) ready to rent turned into almost 6 months of blood, sweat, tears and entirely way too much money.  A big thank you to those friends and family who showed up to help me! I couldn’t have done it without you! And an extra super extra thanks to a few who went above and beyond to help me when I was at a real low point! I don’t wear desperation well. Hahaha  Oh and my car