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Pine Bench and Beyond

My love of nature started young.  I was often outside climbing in, talking to the trees, and talking to the plants and animals. Going camping with my parents, we would drive into the most remote places our vehicle allowed, rarely seeing other people. More often than not, I would find myself hiking off trail with my dad. He always said he was taking a short cut. The short cut inevitably turned it to the steepest, hardest terrain and always took longer than the trail but was almost always much more fun.  As well as much more challenging for a 6 year old to keep up with her 6’ 3” tall dad! * I didn’t see many camping trips during my younger adult life.  Some summer weekend car camping in pay to use camp grounds and a few stints of camping in the desert for Burning man.  Not the kind of camping in a location that felt like I belonged there.  The mossy, pine scented forest held my heart all those years while I was a city dweller or living in other states that didn’t even have real forests.
Recent posts

Long Dark Night of the Soul

I’ve had a few long dark nights in my life.  The last two months have been right up there with my 2005, laying in the hall curled up in a ball crying for hours.  That was a rough time, with a lot of loss and change.  This has been a different long night. I’m not crying that much. Nothing specific that I’m mourning, nothing specific tragic happened.  But winter, and 3 years of very strange uncertainty on all levels, while not taking care of my spiritual and emotional self caught up with me it seems.  A little peri menopause and health issues probably haven’t helped much either.  There were warning signs it was coming, I tried to ignore them. I hoped it would just be a short bout of winter blues. But then it hit hard and I was beyond empty. I was in an energetic deficit that I could no longer ignore.   I needed and still need a recharge of my soul.  Something to fill my inner battery.  So much in life can drain an empathetic, sympathetic, extreme introvert if one isn’t careful. Sometimes

The Grasshopper - Journal Entry September 24th 2022

The grasshopper, with the orange back legs, seems to have more purpose than I. Why he chooses to walk instead of hop is a mystery I can’t unravel.  Maybe the sun knows? What does he seek, this grasshopper who’s face is also orange? I’ll never know this either.  Am I watching myself from above seeing I have no direction? No purpose, other than going from one small pleasure to the next? Other than looking for a relationship that feels good for a while? What kind of life is that? Entering into relationships with the full expectation and knowledge that they will dwindle and fail. The trees enter into relationships for mutual benefit, how long do those connections last? I look back up from writing and the grasshopper is gone.  Did he hop or walk? 

Happy New Year

 Happy New year! I realize it’s the last day of May, but the last 6 months have been a real crazy blurry rollercoaster.  Recap: I bought the adjoining property to mine. After a sureal scramble of begging, borrowing and almost stealing to close the deal on time.  Followed by a nerve racking refi. If you want to know how someone without a job and almost no income secures a loan, I’ll happily tell you.  A giant thank you to the bestie who trusted me with thousands of dollars until I could refi! Then what was going to be a couple coats of paint and a few weeks to get the 1980 manufactured home (yes, it’s a double wide trailer) ready to rent turned into almost 6 months of blood, sweat, tears and entirely way too much money.  A big thank you to those friends and family who showed up to help me! I couldn’t have done it without you! And an extra super extra thanks to a few who went above and beyond to help me when I was at a real low point! I don’t wear desperation well. Hahaha  Oh and my car

Back Burner

 We’ve all been there, we’ve been busy cooking a multi-course meal trying to impress friends, family, maybe a stranger or two. We’ve invited too many people, selected an over ambitious multi-course meal, didn’t plan out the ingredients list well, been too worried about decor or table settings and just didn’t think it all through.  Next thing we know, we’ve got the spatula in too many pots, things are getting chaotic and splattering out of pans onto walls, underneath upper cabinets and we’ve become a bit overwhelmed.  The kitchen is filling with steam and a little smoke.  Frantically, we place the pot, the one filled with the most expensive ingredients but the recipe that’s most familiar, on the back burner, on low. We’ll get back to it in a bit.  This will buy some time and space for all the other recipes perceived as needing more attention since they are new and more of a challenge, maybe even more exciting and will certainly garner more attention than the good-ole standby.   Now br

Homesteading?

 What constitutes homesteading these days?  I really don’t know. Is it growing your own food? Check.  Hauling drinking water because your well isn’t hooked up yet? Check.  Having a composting toilet because your septic isn’t approved yet? Check. Spending hours and hours clearing blackberries and poison oak? Check.  Seeing a bear run across your driveway? Check.   I’m living the dream up here.  But after 10 months of very small rv living, house sitting and a disfuncional tiny house on wheels kitchen I have a silverware drawer!  Hallelujah praise be the kitties!   It’s the little things in life.  Don’t get me wrong, I signed up for this and I would say I’m living my best life. Minus a few things like travel and a private chef.  But I answer to no one.  Except maybe a bobcat or bear and the county planning department.  Also, and most importantly, I have a key to a private swimming hole in the river. Come swim with me!  I probably miss you.   Xoxox  Serena Ps. I have floaties! 

Landed!

 Hello from Oak View Manner, Oak View Estate, Tiny House Nation, Farmpound, Forest’s Edge, or some other name that I haven’t decided on for my new property! I will happily review your suggestions.  I have received a few messages from people and it’s clear that lots of you don’t know where I am! Haha So it’s way past time to make such announcement.   I bought 5 acres, and an unfinished tiny house(on wheels), at the edge of forest and oak Savannah.  Most of my property’s undergrowth was burned in the Archie Creek fire last fall.   It is yet to be seen how many more trees I will lose to fire damage.  But don’t worry, the blackberries, poison oak and scotch broom are coming back in full force!  Insert exploding head emoji here.  But it’s still lovely, aside from the pure clay soil and lots of buried car parts.  I was ecstatic when the black charcoaled remains of ferns actually started sending out fern fronds!!! I’ve also found native columbine, lilies, comfrey, flowering current, and tril